Tell me Where to Run

I guess I'm just a Lost Soul, blinded from the world I live in. Never learned how to be a real friend, painfully addicted to sin. i searched for my happiness in material gain. Fame acquired in the hearts i touch, one encounter no one forgets my name. Playing life's most deadliest games. hurting the individuals who love me the most, confusion got me thinking they can't feel my pain. Who can understand this passion? Forgive me Christ. Logically, can't stop my mind from flashing, visualize this thugs life. Beneath my flesh inside my organ that pumps my blood. I've been searching for love, allowing it to cross my path, but not recognizing what it was. I've hurt so many people in my life time, broke my mama's heart with my crimes. Cedric Pierce the loving intellectual, Showtime the ruffian of all man kind. Philosophy of a mad man, living in a bad world and sad land. But who can be so bold to say they understand God's plan? Fears of dropping my seed on this earth. Can't figure out which is worst, to never live cause from birth we are all slowly dying, living life's curse. I wanna be saved, but I was taught freedom is an early grave. I don''t wanna die, but I hate living this lie. So I just stay high, and pretend life is not passing me by. Tell me where to run to.